Don't Dream It's Over
by g.fox90
Summary: SEQUEL TO CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING, House is being tormented by something from his past coming to haunt him, can he learn to trust Cuddy, Sydney, Rory and Wilson again? Will he be able to confront his deep fears? RATED M FOR LANGUAGE SUCK AT SUMMARIES!


_**A/N: WOW, it's been a long time! I decided to create a sequel to my first story 'Can't Fight This Feeling' I re-read it, as i had a lot of time I was diagnosed with cancer a few months back so while in hospital I re-read this and I wanted to make a story with more continuity and made more sense, so if things are a little different this is why so it makes more sense. So this story takes place after a month and it's Rene's funeral. I really advise those who haven't read the first story to read it or it wont make sense! SORRY FOR TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME but I have been suffering with chemo and radio therapy and stuff so sorry but i promise i will update this often!**_

* * *

**Don't Dream It's Over**

**Chapter One: History of us**

_**So we must love while these moments are still called today**_

_**Take part in the pain of this passion play**_

_**Stretching our youth as we must, until we are ashes to the dust**_

_**Until time makes history of us**_

"In sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our sister Rene LaMontagne; and we commit her body to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes; dust to dust. The Lord bless her and keep her, the Lord make His face shine upon her and be gracious to her and give her peace. Amen."

The black crowd echoed his word, "Amen."

"Today is a sad day," Reverend Charles Cohen started personally after the formalities of his eulogy had been completed, his southern accent dripping with sadness, "Rene was a loving and compassionate women who has been a part of our community for more than forty years." He smiled sincerely at the crowd, "I was present at her baptism, her practise wedding ceremony…" The reverends aged hazel eyes caught House's, "The baptism of her daughter and now her funeral. It makes us question God's grand plan when a beloved and needed woman is taken from us by a man so full of hatred. Yet it is this time we must place our trust in Him and each other even more. We must protect, guide and love each other above all else. It is only though these actions of God's will that those who commit these terrible sins will error of their ways…"

He continued but House couldn't stand it. The man stood in front of them and spouted words that meant nothing to anyone. They couldn't bring her back or help them when they were coming to terms with their losses. What good had God done over the past two months? Why was God so good, when he let men who should die live and people who deserved to live die?

"Now I'll pass to a man who knew Rene better than anyone ever will, Doctor Gregory House."

House remained sat for a moment as the crowd looked at him, Cuddy will sympathy, Sydney with confusion and the rest with pity. He hated it, the way their eyes said more than any words ever could. After lifting himself up and brushing his black suit down, House moved to the podium with no paper or prepared words. House knew that Rene deserved better than lies, she was once his friend, lover and still the mother of his only child.

"I stand here as a person who has shared everything human possible with Rene. At any one time she was a friend, a lover, a workmate, a parent and my guide." House's breath faltered as he gripped the black stand, "We shared every pain and suffered in silence together. When the world wanted to ignore us, when our father's hated us and everyone forgot we existed, we had each other to get by."

He kept his eyes on the coffin while he spoke and his voice betrayed his false calmness, "I wasn't…" House stopped to regain his control, "I wasn't worthy of her love but she gave it freely as she did to everyone. That was her gift and her curse. Yet Rene could forget, what her father did, what mine did and what I did to her. It didn't seem to matter in her scheme of things."

Cuddy looked up and caught House's gaze, her icy blue orbs filled with tears, "I betrayed her…if I had been a better man, more honest we wouldn't be here now. I lied to her so many times, after everything Rene had done for me, I constantly lied to her; yet through nightmares, screaming, terrible endless torment she stayed. I guess you don't know how good you have it until it's gone."

A single tear escaped through House's tightly closed eyes, "Rene gave me the greatest gift, the very person I will never be worthy of, my daughter. Whatever we'd done, to each other, to the world…we created the most perfect child." His voice caught uncharacteristically full of emotion, "I loved her, not all the time, sometimes I wanted to hate her but I couldn't. Even when I was madly in love with someone else," Cuddy smiled supportively, "I can't help feel responsible. I can't help but feel I should be the one people are burying today. The world should be getting rid of one more selfish, misanthropic jerk not someone like Rene…"

House moved round to the open, unfilled grave and grasped a handful of dirt, "I'm sorry," He whispered and threw the dirt across hitting the coffin with a dull thud. Emotion overwhelmed him and House walked passed the seats, the people and the coffin. He couldn't look back, not for Cuddy, Sydney or Rene. House needed to escape.

* * *

Steadily dark clouds descended upon New Orleans, they carried their own sadness and their own tears to shed. House didn't notice the ice-cold rain as his own tears created numbness to everything else. The outside world seemed to fade into insignificance. No Cuddy, no Sydney and certainly no Rene.

He didn't understand. A month had passed since Lucas's final stand off, since he had made his worst act of torture in making House commit his final image to memory. Whenever House closed his eyes he saw it. The mass of muscle and flesh that couldn't even be recognized as a face, the sheer amount of blood…Sometimes House woke up and felt Lucas's thick blood congeal on his face, the memory would haunt him forever and in that way Lucas had won. House hadn't intentionally been heading anywhere but his mind had unconsciously been driving him to a certain place, a certain head stone.

* * *

"I better go find him."

Wilson and Rory nodded but remained silent looking at the open grave in front of them. Lucas had murdered Rene, not for any purpose other than to get House to where he wanted. She was nothing more than a pawn in psychopathic game of chess where House was the end prize, capturing the king.

"I've never heard him talk like that before," Wilson stated solemnly, "I've known him over ten years and I have never seen him cry before. Even when he was in extreme pain, House always buried it."

Rory rubbed his arm hoping it would comfort Wilson but it was hopeless, "Why does it feel like we lost when Lucas is finally gone?"

Cuddy sighed holding the umbrella tightly, "We didn't win, Lucas got exactly what he wanted and someone died that House loved because of that. We lost."

There was a moment of silence, a question on their lips that no one wanted to ask but felt that they had to, that the answer was of extreme importance, "Listen…Cuddy, has he…"

"No."

Cuddy answered Wilson sharply, "I know what you're going to ask." She turned and began to walk away, "He wont talk to anyone about it. I think he's trying to pretend it didn't happen."

Rory and Wilson watched her walk away, "I feel so sorry for her." Rory started as they walked to their car, "She wants to help them both but they just…House isn't ever going to talk about Lucas's suicide and what went on in that house, is he?"

Wilson smiled sadly, "No. Not to us at least, if anyone can pull him back from the edge its Cuddy. She's done it before."

Rory shook her head, "I never planned it this way," Wilson quirked his head and they got into the safety of the car, "Meeting my brother, finding out why I was put up for adoption, I searched my whole life for answers. I find someone who can answer them and all I get is more questions."

Wilson watched her lean into the comfort of the leather seats in the rented car. Rory was so much like her brother but without the harshness and brokenness that House seemed to define himself by. She was what he could have been if circumstances had have been different. Rory noticed Wilson looking at her critically and raised her brow, "What?"

Wilson reached across and took her hand, "In the wise words of Gregory House, sometimes you can't always get what you want."

A moment of shared sadness and simultaneous nervous laughter passed between them before Rory started the engine whilst fondly muttering, "God, your such a girl."

Wilson laughed, "It's like House has never left."

* * *

She found him eventually, after searching the entire graveyard making her black stilettos thick with mud; House was sat leaning on a head stone sodden with black mud and water.

"What are you doing here?"

It was more of an accusation than a question or so Cuddy perceived it to be as House hadn't even looked at her to acknowledge that she was in fact there at all.

"I came to find you," Cuddy moved next to him and kneeled in fronts of him, "It's time to go home."

House looked up and Cuddy saw him for what seemed the first time in two months. She looked into his eyes and saw raw emotion; the walls that he had built strong had crumbled beneath the burden of his pain. This was the result, a broken shell of a man who couldn't take anymore.

"I've never had a home." House stared into Cuddy's icy blue eyes and said without faltering, "Leave me alone."

"I can't leave without you."

Cuddy sat beside him laying her coat down so she didn't cover herself in the wet mud House seemed to be content lying in, "I can't leave her."

Cuddy quirked her head in confusion, this wasn't Rene's grave yet House seemed attached to it, like a child not wanting to leave its mother. That was when it clicked in her mind; Cuddy pushed House gently out of the way to reveal the name on the tombstone.

"Emilia Rose House."

House grimaced when Cuddy said her name, "My mother."

She sat back next to him, "I thought…

"My mom killed herself."

For a moment they sat together in silence, surrounded by a silent audience of graves. Cuddy didn't know what to say, it was a feeling she was becoming accustomed to lately, the little Cuddy thought she knew about the man she loved was being called into question. She looked at the outline of House Cuddy could see through the rain, he wasn't as strong as he made himself out to be. House was so fragile and had been for so many years but Cuddy wondered if this was the final push.

"You have to talk to me, House." Cuddy placed her hand on his sodden trouser leg, "I'm not letting you push me away. We've come so close, we can't give up now its just letting him win!"

House winced at the mention of "him" and stood granting himself a little distance between Cuddy, "He's already won."

"No," Cuddy resisted and stood up to meet him, "You are not giving up on me. This isn't just about you; other people are depending on you! Sydney needs her father! Rory needs her brother! I need you, House."

Something inside House visibly snapped when Cuddy spoke, "THAT is what got everyone into this mess! _ME!_ That's the common denominator, the rate determining step…me. If I wasn't here everyone's life would be normal! It's me that fucks everything up! Anything I touch just turns to shit!" House fell to the ground banging his fist into the mud, "IT'S ME! All me!"

Cuddy kneeled holding him in her arms as they rocked together and House cried into her black dress, the umbrella falling to the ground beside them. She held his head close to her chest burying the sounds of his tears, the shivers of an already broken man and gently soothed him, "It's ok. I'm here. I'm always going to be here whether you like it or not." Cuddy kissed his sopping wet hair, "I love you."

* * *

"Where have you been?"

Rory and Wilson were sat on the sofa next to their suitcases; Sydney was fast asleep on the seat next to them. House walked in leaving a trail of wet footprints on the hotel room floor, completely absorbed in his thoughts to notice his sister and Wilson on the sofa. He went straight to his room and closed the door. Cuddy slowly walked in after him, her hair wet and stuck to her face, her shoes covered in mud, "In the graveyard."

Wilson stood up and walked over to Cuddy, "For four hours?"

She sighed, "It took me an hour to find him." Cuddy threw off her dirt coat, "I need a drink, preferably alcohol and lots of it."

Rory smiled sympathetically, "Jimmy, you heard the woman she needs wine stat." She turned to Cuddy, "Go get changed then you're going to tell us what happened."

Cuddy nodded and sombrely walked off into another room. Wilson returned to Rory on the sofa with three glasses of wine expertly balanced, "She looks awful."

Rory sighed, "I second that." They both turned their heads when the shower sounded, "She needs a break."

The oncologist laughed nervously, "We all need a break."

Rory leaned back into the sofa, rubbing her temples, "Do you think I should talk to him?"

He shrugged, "I honestly don't know, it could help him or push him further into the cocoon."

"Yeah…" She laughed and ran her fingers through her hair, "This is hard, just when you think everything is going to be ok, something else comes up and kicks him when he's down."

"Amen to that."

Wilson turned round to see Cuddy freshly showered and moving towards the opposite sofa with the glass of wine waiting for her, "God I need this."

Cuddy sat and nearly drank the whole glass in one large gulp, "Ah, that's better."

Wilson coughed, "So, I take it we're not leaving tonight then?"

She laughed, "I had to convince him to leave the graveyard, that took three hours. I'm taking one step at a time with him."

"We can't wait for him to want to go." Rory started, "He needs to get out of here, we all do."

Cuddy shook her head and ran her fingers through her clean, wet hair, "He sat by his moms grave," She looked at Rory, "Your moms grave and he wouldn't move." She took a moment, "He wouldn't move, when he finally did he collapsed shouting at me that it was all his fault." Cuddy felt the damn of emotions that had been building up over the last two months start to reveal cracks in the foundations, "He blames himself for everything and he just visibly broke down in front of me." Her voice faltered and Wilson moved over to wrap his arm around her, "I held him for two hours until he stopped crying. I've never seen him like this…" Tears filled Cuddy's eyes but pride demanded that they remain there, "I don't know whether I can bring him back from this."

* * *

He'd changed. The funeral clothes had become so wet they had stuck to him and he couldn't sleep with them on. House couldn't sleep anyway. The physical aches from his torture tormented him with phantom pain though medically he was almost fit again. House sat on the balcony, leaning over the railing-watching people enjoy the bohemian nights that New Orleans offers. The music he used to fall in love with each night, that drifted in from nearby Bourbon Street, held no magic or beauty any longer. The city that used to redeem the demons hidden within by sexuality and enchanting excitement was painted red with the emotional scars that now wept.

No, House couldn't sleep. He couldn't risk his friends and family hearing his screams of pain that he couldn't forget and certainly couldn't confront them. His fear kept him at bay, the fear that when he closed his eyes John and Lucas were waiting for him. It was irrational, yet that was fear that got to him, a fear that no one would ever understand. There was a ghost haunting him that prevented him from doing anything, whispering in his ear constantly, just like Amber…

"Brooding isn't a look you can pull off."

He turned to see Rory smiling at him, "Well I'm not exactly the best company right now."

Rory stood opposite him, "Yeah I'm getting that vibe somehow but don't you think this is a bit bigger than just you?"

He laughed bitterly, "So, I'm being selfish? I'll add that to my list.

"You know I didn't mean it that way," Rory sighed, "I don't expect you to act like sunshine and lollipops but take it easier on us. Ok? I don't pretend to know what you're going through but I have seen it before." She turned and leant on the railing that House was staring intently over, "People see traumatic things and they self-destruct. That's ok if you're on your own but you're not. Cuddy and Sydney need you."

House let his head fall to rest on the steel railing, "They don't need me, they are better off on their own."

"You can't honestly believe that?" Rory pulled House away from the edge and made him look at her eyes, "Now you listen to me, I'm not letting you fall apart because you owe me. I never told you I have a son, Theo and he wants to meet his uncle. Cuddy wants the man she loves back and Sydney needs her father."

House looked at her straight, "You never told me you had a son."

Rory's phone rang and she scrambled for it, "I need to get this."

"Wait…I need to tell you something?"

But she was already gone before House had spoken, "I'm hallucinating…"

* * *

_**A/N: IF you don't like it tell me now and i'll start a fresh story but if you want me to continue tell me! I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes as I haven't had it beta'd. House is slightly out of character but he's dealing with some crap so forgive me!**_

_**Gabe, xx**_


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